Sunday, February 14, 2010

Tiger Shark Versus Glock














vs.


I was washing the dishes. Above the kitchen sink is a window facing south overlooking the back yard. I see a friendly rabbit nibbling on the grass about 60 meters away near the garden. Unluckily for him, my friend's pump action pellet gun is near the kitchen table. I opened the screen, and slid the barrel out the window.

Snap. A good shot, but right behind the shoulders. Incapacitated, but not dead. I head out to the yard to gather my dinner.

Forgetting my lessons from physiology I kneel down and cut it's head off. Now the headless rabbit is jumping around the yard like an un-pithed lab frog.

With a dinner plate in one hand an butcher knife in the other, I'm a retarded gladiator trying to slay the wild beast. Luckily for me, the neighbors did not see any of this. It would have been hard to explain to the police, since after a few misses with my sword (the damn thing was jumping 2 meters in the air!) my face was covered in blood spurting from the neck of the zombie bunny.

Finally it sat still for a second while I thrust the blade into its side. Finally dead. Again.

My roommate made stew.

I'm not really into killing for sport. I think you ought to eat something if you're gonna kill it.

I'll make one exception though.

I want to hunt a tiger shark with a Glock. Maybe I got the idea from a movie, or from a dream perhaps. I figure the 40 caliber model will do. They're supposed to fire underwater, so pressing the gun right against the head of the shark, right behind the eye, should kill it. Maybe.

I know what you're thinking, and I agree. If I actually did see a tiger shark, I'd more likely be fascinated and leave it alone. It's too big to eat anyway.

-james

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