Don't Fall

Last night after having a couple drinks, I came home to find that I did not have my house key. Normally I keep it in my wallet, which I didn't bring with me. Knowing that all the windows were locked, I called the landlord, who said he doubted he knew the location of the extra key.

I put my limited climbing skills to use and studied the architecture under the balcony. I observed a concrete ledge that I could shimmy hand over hand about five meters to the concrete column adjacent to the balcony. From there I might reach across the column to that same concrete ledge, now directly underneath the balcony where I might try to reach up to grab the marble posts of the railing.

But alas the concrete ledge was dirty and slippery and slightly sloped for drainage. If I made my way over hand over hand to the balcony, I would be dangling from the ledge searching for a hand hold on the other side, and the ledge became very narrow at this point. Below me would be quite a way down, high enough to break an ankle or my head if I landed on two different steps.

The railing of the balcony below mine was too low to even try jumping from it to mine. And the concrete columns were too thick to over any assistance. No grip there.

Finally I noticed a window ledge underneath that same ledge leading me to my balcony. I tried this, and discovered that I could stand on the very edge of a lower window ledge from where I made a small leap to grab the bottom of my railing, which is luckily coated in small ornate rocks, giving it a nice grip.

From there I wrapped my arm around a marble post, reaching up to the top railing of the baclony, and slowly pulled one of my slippered drunken feet up to the balcony. One final dynamic move to hop over the railing.

I found that the lock had failed on one of the sliding glass doors and I could gain entry.

It's not so obvious how to climb up my balcony, but I had better find a way to secure my new apartment. And make an extra key.

Lesson: drink just enough to overcome your fear of heights, but not so much that you'll fall to your death.