Painful Experiences

Random memorable painful experiences (physically):

1) I was a ten year old kid slow sledding in Indiana. My clothes sucked, as we couldn't afford Gortex, and it was super fucking cold. From the sledding, snow was getting under my clothes and melting, making me dangerously cold. Later in life, I heard Bear Grylls say, "you should never be cold cause you can just do 50 pushups!" Or something to that effect anyway. I didn't know this back then, but thankfully made it home with all my fingers and toes. I was really crying though.

2) While I was living in San Diego and bouldering with Ivo Rosbach, I fell onto a sixty degree sloped granite surface and slid down a few feet on my belly. That day I had a really bad sunburn all over my body, and every nerve on my front half fired at once. Excruciating.

3) Six months ago, I was walking down the road and stepped off into the bushes to take a piss. I felt an itching sensation near my left ankle. In the two seconds it took me to look down, the itching had turned into an incredible amount of sensation, pain, itching, fear, as my whole lower leg was covered in thousands of tiny fire ants.

I didn't know what to do; the idea of pissing on my foot occurred to me, but I knew that my leg would stink the whole way home, so I decided to wait it out. The problem now is that I really had to go, and it seemed an eternity before I stopped urinating and could swipe the offending beasts from my ankle.

By that time, I was in so much pain that I was laughing hysterically. My foot was covered in spots and itched like hell for ten days after.